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Post by Tamara George on Aug 24, 2011 15:43:59 GMT -5
Tam slid into the booth of the mellow mushroom, tiredly rubbing her eyes as she tried to focus on the menu she'd grabbed from another table on her way in. But despite the same strange urge to munch on something, she couldn't honestly distinguish the cocktail of stress, worry and anxiety from actual genuine hunger. It didn't help but that she'd been feeling queasy all morning and probably looked like she had too.
She hadn't even spent her customary few hours in front of the mirror as she usually did...then again it was kind of difficult when she was spending her time throwing up her dinner from the night before. Either way, that particular day, she wasn't exactly looking her best and that wasn't even including the gargantuan hurdle ahead of her.
She didn't have any options left.
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Post by Semper Capone on Aug 24, 2011 16:53:16 GMT -5
I usually never went out to eat unless I was going with friends, which wasn't today. Wednesdays were just awful, so I decided to go out and just wander around town. Things still were really hectic, so a good long walk would clear my head. Temporary relief was just as good as anything at this point.
Soon my stomach began growling and the smell of pizza was wafting through the air. Of course, having hardly eaten anything all day, I was ready to just about eat a whole cow. Eh, one night out by myself wouldn't be so tragic.
Going into the resturant, I looked at all the odd artwork that was scrawled along the walls, realizing how hippy this place looked. Just like the other Mellow Mushrooms along the East coast. Huh. As I looked at a giant multi-colored sculptor of a bear, I noticed a familiar head of blonde hair, which brought a smile to my face. Tam was one of the liveliest people I knew, and I really did enjoy spending time with her.
I went over to where she was, standing beside the table. "Mind if I join y'?" I asked, noticing how.... off she looked. I furrowed my brows in concern. "Everythin' alright?"
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Post by Tamara George on Aug 25, 2011 7:52:32 GMT -5
Tam looked up when she heard a familiar voice, staring at the owner for a moment. She felt her heart sink, she'd come into the Mellow Mushroom hoping to be able to sit down and think things over, try and figure out she'd come out with it...well that'd been dashed. Part of her would have been quite happy to slap him actually, but the other half of her brain, the larger, fairer and probably slightly smarter half, stopped her.
She motioned at the seat opposite vaguely, mumbling something that not even she could really understand, still absorbed in her own thoughts.
She'd have to be mature about this, that was the only way she'd get through it, she'd be mature and reasonable and take time and think things through...and somehow that thought just made everything seem worse. Mature was a weird so very rarely used to describe Tam that it was pratically unheard of. She'd only left school a little while ago, her life had looked so full, brimming with so many possibilities...and it felt like that'd all been snatched away from her.
And then he asked the inevitable question, or at least a variation of it, and Tam turned to him, taking a small intake of breath that simply ended up catching...and then burst out crying.
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Post by Semper Capone on Aug 25, 2011 16:59:42 GMT -5
Something was definately wrong. Way off. Tam wasn't her usual spunky, bouncing-off-the-walls self, and that scared me, in all honesty. I've only ever seen her mad or happy, but never this blue. Hell, she wasn't even smiling.
I sat down opposite of her when she motioned for me to, and I was silent, watching her still. Tam looked like she was about to reply, but then she began crying. And then I became scared and angry all at the same time. Had someone hurt her? I'd sure as hell beat someone's face into the dirt if they did. I knew that some people had taken advantage of her at one point, and still, I'd beat the hell out of someone if that were true. I'm protective of my best friends."What's wrong?" I asked, obviously concerned. "Did someone hurt y'? 'cause I swear t' Ripred I'll beat their ass six feet under."
((Spell check died on me. Dx ))
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Post by Tamara George on Aug 25, 2011 17:25:20 GMT -5
Tam shook her head as she pulled one of the napkins from beneath the odd sculpture thing serving as the salt and pepper holder, wiping her eyes but it didn't help, if anything, the tears just began to fall faster.
"N...n...no," She sobbed. "It's...w...worse,"
Her breath hitched again as she slowly began to fray, any front she'd been trying to keep up falling away catastrophically, it was about then that the waitress arrived, catiously setting her drink in front of her, obviously not sure about whether to ask for an order or not. Either way she soon went away.
"I don't know what I'm going t...to do," Tam cried.
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Post by Semper Capone on Aug 25, 2011 17:49:29 GMT -5
At least she wasn't hurt. I could relax now, for the most part. But, still, I was worried about her. What could have someone or something done to put her into this state? I swear, if someone else had died, I was going to just go jump off the pier without a second thought. I couldn't handle another death of someone I knew. Well, no one knew for certain if Chicago was dead. I was trying to avoid that thought, but that left me with no other conclusion. I didn't dare venture toward the resolution of her having been kidnapped. Hell no.
When the waitress came by, I asked her for a sweet tea before she left. Turning my attention back to Tam, I continued my concern for her. What could possibly be worse than death? "What is it, then?" I asked, and though I didn't want to pry, I didn't want her to end up bottling it all up like I do. She, on many occasions, had tried to get me to just let all my emotions out, so I figured I should do the same for her.
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Post by Tamara George on Aug 25, 2011 18:11:38 GMT -5
Tam gave a loud hiccup before trying to calm herself down enough to speak again, taking a breath but it didn't halt the tears. You know, she was even pretty glad she hadn't bothered with make up that morning...then again, the fact that she hadn't stopped crying last week could be something to go on. She'd stayed in her room most of the time, occasionally escaping for some air but she certainly hadn't interacted with anyone.
She wanted, no, needed to tell someone, she wished she had someone to tell but her list of girl friends seemed kind of useless now, most of them had disappeared...really, she just wanted Chicago...but even then, she wouldn't have been able to breathe a word, in fact it probably would have made the whole thing worse, the guilt was already knawing at her, that would have just increased it ten fold and...
"I'm pregnant,"
The words came out without her meaning too and for a moment or two, she didn't even realise she'd said them. She looked up at him, her expression almost pleading, begging him to understand...and yet part of her wished he wouldn't get it at all, just to spare the awkwardness.
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Post by Semper Capone on Aug 25, 2011 18:27:10 GMT -5
The waitress brought my glass of sweet tea -- or rather just that awful unsweet stuff they pass for tea -- and quickly left before I could really say thank you. Reaching over, I took a few packets of sugar and dumped them into the tea, taking a dull knife from my silverware and began stirring the liquid until all the little grains were dissolved. Huh, I think that meant it was saturated... and then super saturated meant there was an overdose of sugar and not all of it was dissolved. Ew, chemistry. I was past that now.
I raised the glass to my mouth and was taking a sip just as Tam said two words -- two certain words that made me feel the literal meaning of "lolwut." I sucked in some of the drink the wrong way, making me hack and cough after swallowing what I could and trying to clear my throat all at the same time. When I thought I could manage to speak, I asked her in a hoarse voice, obviously in disbelief: "You're what?!" No, Tamara George was not pregnant. She was always so careful about that kind of stuff, so maybe this was a dream. Yeah, it was a dream. But the suffocation that the choking gave me certainly could not have just been in a dream. "Who the fuck got y' pregnant?" I then asked, still trying to clear my throat and catch my breath.
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Post by Tamara George on Aug 26, 2011 5:11:05 GMT -5
Tam moved her head down into her hands, her fingers sliding through her shaggy hair as she gave a shaky sigh. In any other situation she probably would have at least laughed at his choking but right then, the last thing she felt like doing was laughing.
"I'm pregnant," She repeated somewhat more calmly, her hands shaking slightly.
"And..." She paused her, steeling herself.
"It's urm...I think it's...no, I know...it's yours Semp...congrats, you're going to be a father," She said grimly, looking back up at him, her hands sitting one on top of the other against the table as she waited anxiously for his response. In her mind, she would have given the news a little more...delicately but patience was unfortunately a virtue she didn't have.
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Post by Semper Capone on Aug 26, 2011 16:31:34 GMT -5
I had just managed to catch my breath when the weight of the whole situation fell on me like a brick wall. Tam was pregnant with my kids. Oh my Ripred. My failure of a brain just couldn't comprehend that. Yeah, she and I had sex, but-- no, there are no but's. A butt is what you sit on. There are no if's, and's, or but's. I wanted to ask if she was certain that it had been me, but there's no use in even trying. I more than royally fucked up her life.
I put my elbows up on the table and my face in my hands, unable to look at her and see the tears in her eyes. Just saying "sorry" can't cover it up. There were no words to describe how sincerely sorry I was. I bet you that she had had her whole life planned out ahead of her, and now that's all gone up in flames. Now she was stuck for a year bearing the signs of my fucking idiocy.
"I can't even... begin t' put into words how terribly sorry I am, Tam..." I told her, still not looking at her and my voice somewhat muffled by my hands.
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Post by Tamara George on Aug 26, 2011 17:22:12 GMT -5
Tam didn't say anything for a while, picking at her sleeve before she gave a half hearted attempt at a callous shrug.
"I know," She said quietly not knowing exactly where to direct her gaze.
"I was just thinking about Sage and urm...I dunno I think perhaps I should move out or urm...go somewhere or something, I mean I've pretty much fucked your life up too so...I don't know," She said quietly.
OOC: Muse died x.x
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Post by Semper Capone on Aug 26, 2011 17:45:09 GMT -5
I dropped my hands down onto the table. "I wasn't the one that had plans after highschool. All I was gonna do is jus' go t' work fulltime 'n' if the fire department wants m' t' go off t' college, then so be it, but I'm sure y' had more planned for yer life than I have for m' own. Then there I went, with m' fucking stupidity, 'n' fucked it all up." I sounded a great deal exasperated, but at myself rather than toward Tam or the unborn kid. I settled myself down a moment before continuing. "It wouldn't do y' any good t' move out, I'd s'pose...."
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Post by Tamara George on Aug 26, 2011 17:58:40 GMT -5
Tam shrugged.
"Well those plans are just going to have to change, that's all. Obviously I'm err...keeping it and I'm kind of scared shitless and I think for once I really want my mum...my real one, not the godly one or my dad, I've sort of had a bit of time to think and I thought maybe I could take a job at Richmond because well I'm going to need it because I've been disinherited too, my dad managed to lose pretty much everything so I'm...well...actually I'm kind of poor..." She said and she couldn't help how her nose wrinkled ever so slightly at the seemingly absurd thought, yet another thing she'd need to spend her time wrapping her head around.
"But I'm sure I could pull a few strings and I still have some money but working at the school means some accommodation without rent so I'm pretty sure that's the best I can hope for," She said dully, tiredly running a hand over her face before she paused, her hand dropping as she looked at him.
"It's not your fault Semp, we were both out of our minds, it's as much my fault as it is yours and I'm the one who let you drink. Takes two to tango," She shrugged.
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Post by Semper Capone on Aug 26, 2011 18:27:50 GMT -5
If Tam wanted to go back to England, I wasn't going to stop her. Hell, I wasn't going to do anything except do whatever I could to help her with what little resources I have at hand. "It ain't so bad, bein' poor...." I said quietly to no one in particular. All I've ever known is poverty or very near poverty, so being poor was nothing new to me. I knew how to handle it. "I could help y', if y' ever need anythin'. Though I don't got much." My voice trailed off and I shrugged. "It ain't yer fault. I had a few jars of moonshine before I went to the beach."
((My muse died. Dx ))
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Post by Tamara George on Aug 27, 2011 13:32:27 GMT -5
Tam sighed, deciding not to press further on the subject. To her, not being able to whip out her card whenever she felt like it would be harder than she could really express.
At his next question, she gave a frown, shaking her head.
"I don't want your money, I just...I need some support, that's all," She said somewhat pathetically.
OOC: Crap post but it's up!
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