|
|
Post by Tamara George on Sept 12, 2011 5:13:46 GMT -5
Tam sat in the waiting area feeling sick to the stomach, her face a mask of anxiety and worry as she chewed on the inside of her mouth, not knowing exactly where to look considering a few people were looking at her already. She didn't know whether she was happier or not with the idea that Semp would be there, she still found it kind of difficult to wrap her head around the fact that it was actually Semp's baby she was having,
She couldn't help glance at him beside her, it was the right thing for him to come along, really it was. She'd thought about protesting, pretty forcefully too but it was his baby too and at least he was interested. She knew she would have been more pissed off if he hadn't bothered at all. She turned back, squeezing her eyes closed as she waited for them to be called, trying to calm herself enough to function properly.
"Nervous?" She asked Semp eventually, deciding that silence probably wasn't doing much good.
|
|
|
|
Post by Semper Capone on Sept 12, 2011 18:44:36 GMT -5
To say that I was overwhelmed was a complete understatement. I was freaking the hell out. Not only was I unfaithful to Chicago, the girl I loved more than anyone else on Earth, but I had the sheer audacity to get drunk and go fuck her sister. Her own sister! Ripreddamn, I can't even begin to describe how pissed off I was with myself. I wanted to scream, cry, yell angrily, and ram my head through a wall all at the same time. How could I be so fucking stupid? I couldn't even bear to come with terms with myself.
To me, waiting in the lobby was like waiting on death row. I was so nervous, setting my palms on my jeans so I wouldn't notice how clammy they were. That failed, though. I was staring blankly at the ground in front of me, trying to calm myself down. But I couldn't. Tam was already showing and it was hardly even two months since we had sex. I knew it would take time before her belly started swelling, but I didn't think it'd be this quick. Just seeing that tiny bulge had me in a panic.
Tam's one word nearly made me jump. I glanced at her, slowing my breathing to calm myself down. Really, I was overreacting. Babies were something you were supposed to be excited about, not absolutely scared out of your wits. All I could really do was nod to answer her question, looking back blankly at the drab carpet.
[/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by Tamara George on Sept 12, 2011 18:59:09 GMT -5
Tam nodded in response, her eyes sliding back to the ground, doing her best to ignore the small bump that had become a more prominent fixture of her appearance of late. God, she didn't think she'd ever felt so guilty, so unfaithful and dirty or such a bitch as she did then but it was too late now and for the most part, she was simply using it as an excuse to hide behind instead of the even more terrifyingly awful thing growing within her.
"You didn't have to come you know," She said eventually, not knowing quite where to look. "You still don't have to...I mean you don't have to come in or anything," She continued quietly. "I don't really need you,"
She didn't really mean that, not really. She did need him but she would have preferred it, in every sense, if it weren't him who's child she were expecting, support as a friend was one thing, support as some kind of twisted temporary parental partnership...she didn't even like to think what would happen when the kid were actually born...she was yanked out of this however by her name being called. She just sat there for a moment, steeling herself before she got to her feet, taking a few steps, glancing back at him somewhat unsure before continuing, soon so wrapped up that she didn't even know whether he was following her or not.
|
|
|
|
Post by Semper Capone on Sept 12, 2011 20:12:12 GMT -5
I still remember the first time I met Tam. It was back when Chicago was with Kaleb and I was a complete wreck. I was out on the quad when she came over, asked me what was wrong, and I ended up just pouring all my issues out to her. Ever since then we had been really good friends and sure enough, turned out that she was Chicago and Sage's sister. Never in a million years would I ever think that I would get her pregnant. Me, of all the guys in the world. Why did it have to be me? Was there some sort of mischievous plan Zeus or the Fates had? Whatever it was, it was sick and twisted.
I looked back over at her when she began talking to me. Of course I wanted to go with her since it was my kid too, but that sort of just didn't seem right. I wasn't going to be a large part of their lives anyway, so I figured I better try to not get attached like I knew I would. They would never know of me other than just being an uncle-like figure. Some other guy was going to be taking the kid's role as their father, and as much as I didn't like that, I wanted to honor Tam's wishes. She was right. She didn't need me; she had this all under control. I watched her walk, staying seated where I was, wishing I was going but knowing I'd be better off starting to accept that I wouldn't have very much to do with the kid's life.
((So tired. Dx ))
[/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by Tamara George on Sept 13, 2011 16:16:20 GMT -5
She was in a daze as she answered the various questions, watching the doctor fill them into the computer with a series of smiles and reassurances. It didn't do much for her confidence though. She thought she was about to pass out as she changed into the hideous hospital gown and even more so as they set up the machine.
What if something was wrong? What if ignoring it all would mean she'd affected it somehow? In her mind the thing was...well...nothing more than just that, a thing. She'd never felt it kick, never seen it, only got the morning sickness and heartache and yet despite that, part of her was excited. In a shy, petrified kind of way, god she was more nervous than she'd ever been in her life and she didn't think she'd ever wanted her mum more (her real mum, as she'd recently realised, not the godly one who'd never been there or her father who'd been pretty much the same) but somehow, as the smooth clear jelly was rubbed across the small bump, all those loose feelings and thoughts seemed to tie up until she couldn't wait for it.
She watched eagerly as the small monitor ran across her stomach although she didn't think anything could have prepared her for the surprise discovered.
*
Tam'd never ever seen the appeal of children or the so called miracles of pregnancy and birth and all that crap but as she walked out of there, her cheeks still somewhat damp but a smile still on her lips as she looked at the picture. She crossed the small walk to Semp, dropping down into the seat next to him, giving him a large unexpected kiss on the cheek with a laugh.
"My god Semp I swear before part of me wanted to castrate you but you've completely changed my life," She said, wiping her tears away impatiently with the back of her hand.
|
|
|
|
Post by Semper Capone on Sept 13, 2011 21:01:16 GMT -5
Waiting is just about the worst thing in the world. You can't stand it either way because you know something's going to happen, whether it's exciting or death-inducing. This particular even, in my opinion, was just about death-inducing. I couldn't tell if Tam still wanted to castrate me because of what I had done to her, and just waiting for her reaction for the ultrasound was killing me. I found myself fidgeting in every way I could: bouncing my foot like I was keeping tempo in a song, tapping my fingers against my leg, biting my lip, tapping rhythms onto the arm rest, you name it. Anyway I could get rid of excess anxiety, I was doing it.
I looked up when I heard the door open, seeing Tam come back into the waiting room after what felt like forever. She looked like she had been crying, but she didn't seem sad... something was off. Really off.
Before my brain could register what was happening, she came over and planted a rather large kiss on my cheek and sat down beside me like everything was just fine and dandy, even laughing. What the hell had gotten into her? I turned my head to look at her, confusion obviously written all over my face. "Changed yer life...?" I asked cautiously, knowing full well she could still castrate me from behind my back. "In a good way or bad way?"
[/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by Tamara George on Sept 14, 2011 3:59:50 GMT -5
Tam laughed.
"Well first off I was convinced it was just in a bad way but it's good, it really is. Like I have no idea on how I'm going to support two, ones bad enough but I just don't care anymore. I'm going to be a mum Semp and you helped...well you did more than help really and I never thought I'd say this but thank you!" She gushed, kissing his cheek again with another laugh..
"Oh and I got them to do a copy for you...if you err...want it," She said holding out the second scan but her ecstasy faded slightly as she realised what she was saying. She wasn't supposed to be doing this, they'd agreed, he needed to be distant but...she had no one else to share it with that could possibly even touchupon what she felt right then.
|
|
|
|
Post by Semper Capone on Sept 14, 2011 13:27:19 GMT -5
Tam was talking, but all that was going through my mind was one word: two. Two pieces of cornbread? Two pencils? Two fatalities? No, two human babies. Between Tam and I, we had created two new human beings. Not just one, which we had just assumed, but two. Two. Dos. Zwei. Twins. I could feel my face going white as a ghost. Tam had gone into that room just as freaked out as I was, and came out smiling and crying tears of joy.
I was still trying to comprehend the fact that there was two babies instead of one when she kissed my cheek again and laughed. She said they made another copy of the sonogram for me, but wasn't I supposed to stay distant? Oh, fuck it. This was a once in a lifetime happening, so I looked down and took the picture, looking at the different shades of grey and black. Sure enough, there were their two outlines. Despite all the fear, I couldn't stop the smile that came onto my face. Even though it was only a picture, I could feel that instinctive paternal draw to the two unborn babies already. There was no use denying it. No matter how distant I become, I'll never be able to really separate myself from them. It was like in Les Miserables, when Marius's father was forced to give him up, but he followed Marius around and made sure he was alright and the kid had absolutely no clue. Fuck, this was going to be hard to stay away from these two kids once they're born. "Damn, they're so small..." I said quietly to no one in particular, still smiling like an idiot as I continued to look at the sonogram.
[/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by Tamara George on Sept 14, 2011 16:31:17 GMT -5
"I know," Tam smiled, relaxing as a tidal wave of relief settled over her as she saw the same expression move onto his face.
"It took me ages to figure out which parts were which but if you look there, that's one of their hands," She said sheepishly, pointing it out to him, careful not to leave a fingerprint on the shiny surface.
"And there's going to be another check up in a few weeks time just to make sure and I'm supposed to write down any movements and stuff...something like that, I stopped listening, and then in the third term there's birthing classes and stuff but err...I guess that'll be a miss considering...erm...everything," She said awkwardly. As much as she loathed to admit it...well not even to herself anymore but to him or anyone else, she wanted him around, she...it didn't make an ounce of sense and it was all so over complicated but she wanted someone who'd light up the same way every time the baby kicked, like expecting parents did, someone who'd be as excited about the whole thing as she was.
The problem with that however was blatently obviously and a rather big one.
No matter how much she wanted to play make believe and happy families, they couldn't. They weren't a couple. At all. They were friends and nothing else and although they had shagged (hence the current predicament...) and she had enjoyed it and had thought about possibly giving it another try they were nothing more than that and she was pretty sure neither of them wanted that anyway. She tried to dampen these thoughts, for the moment at least. She wanted to enjoy it rather than allow herself to be constantly dogged by 'what ifs'.
|
|
|
|
Post by Semper Capone on Sept 14, 2011 20:24:52 GMT -5
When she pointed out the tiny hand, I couldn't help but glance down at my own. It was so huge compared to the baby's. Holy shoot... it was so hard for me to comprehend the fact that even I was that small at one point. Hard to imagine that at one point, I was just like my two kids here. I was nothing more than a picture, my itty-bitty forming body living in Demeter's womb. Oh wow, I've never thought about that before.
Tam was going on about all the things she would have to do for the wellbeing of the babies, but it was all stuff I couldn't do. This was probably the last thing I'd be able to do as their actual father. That thought really depressed me, but I didn't want to ruin Tam's vibrant emotions right now. I forced that same smile back onto my face. "They're gonna love y'," I said, still looking at the sonogram.
((Fail!post. Dx ))
[/size][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by Tamara George on Sept 15, 2011 4:06:04 GMT -5
Tam gave a snort.
"If I'm going through however many hours of labour to get them out, they better love me," She teased before giving a laugh and a small shrug.
"I don't know really, I hope they do...I hope I'm going to be a good mother. I still haven't told any of my family back home about any of it, I think I really need my mum at the moment but things are already kind of hectic and I don't want her worrying so I was just going to wait until things had died down a bit. Plus there's no way I could tell her without her jumping on the next plane over and that would just be way too much hassle," She breathed, her gently running along the edge of the picture in her hand absently.
OOC: Bleh crap post again x.x
First Maternity Outfit xD[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
|
|
|
Post by Semper Capone on Sept 16, 2011 5:37:49 GMT -5
I couldn't help but laugh along with her. The image of her screaming and swearing and damning me everyone around her to hell during labor amused me. Quite a lot. Okay, maybe not that much, but you get the idea. I won't be there, though, so I don't know who she'll be asking Hades to take and torture with a flaming grater to their face. I'll have escaped that hellfire already, thank God.
I lowered the sonogram and looked over at Tam as she looked at her own picture. "Maybe Mr. Hughes could help? I know y' said he wouldn't get off yer case 'n' stuff, but maybe until y' can get t' your mother y' oughta jus' ask 'im 'n' see if he can help at all." I shrugged. I knew going to someone you didn't trust wasn't a very good idea, but given the situation, he was the only one I knew of that could probably help her a good deal. "'n' stop worryin' yerself 'bout bein' a good mother. You'll be a good one. Y' got nothin' t' worry 'bout."
[/size][/blockquote] |
|
